Samwana

The worst part about being in love is the misery, fear and grief that comes along with it. Your dependency on another person to make you happy and not knowing how to be alone. You are glad you have someone but you wish it didn't feel like your heart was anchored to the knots in your stomach. You wish you didn't have the constant fear of losing someone you care so much about. The pangs of anxiety make you question if it's all even worth it. But then you look into their eyes and feel the way they hold you and think about the way you get lost in their eyes and you want that feeling to go absolutely nowhere and stay with you forever. You obsess over your future together and get so hopeful because you know that's all you need to be happy. It's all you want, and you hope you are not crazy and hope they feel the same way.

That easy Saturday you'd wake me up by pulling my beads.You'd follow me everywhere in the house as if I'd run away from you.You'd cry at the bathroom door as I take a shower.You won't even let me brush my teeth in peace you had to follow and imitate daddy.No chills as dad was in control even as mum was out for work.Fully dressed in heavy clothes complete with socks and Marvin,you were safe from the July cold in Nairobi. I was dressed in a pair of my navy blue shorts and a t-shirt.I know this was an assurance that daddy will be indoors all day and won't leave you.Breakfast is served by aunty.You leave your sweetly prepared uji and opt for my sugarless tea.Its not sweet at all but you decide to have what daddy has because daddy is never wrong.You reach for the remote control and randomly press.The channel shows your favorite KCB cub account advert.That is your favorite I know.I had even requested uncle Evans who works at KCB to send me so that i wo