Diary of a Side Chick - Makhwapheni Episode 3
I didn't know how to react to the sms. I know they say black girls
don't turn red when angry but at that moment I turned maroon. The yellow
bone me turned into a maroon bone. I mean, this guy came to my place,
asked for booze and started kissing me. Now he's accusing me of taking
advantage of him. I was so mad at him right now that my pussy dried so
fast like biltong ya kudu. He won't get away with this, that I promise. I
will teach him a lesson he will never forgot. Nxa he has a nerve. I
looked at Dumi lying on my bed still smiling and I hated him at that
moment. I actually hated all men in the world. All men are heartless and
think they can mess with us and get away with murder. I screamed at him
to stop smiling cause there was nothing to smile about. My screaming
gave him a fright that he fell off the bed. The scene was so funny that I
almost cracked. I remembered I'm so mad at men and I maintained a
straight face. Sometimes I think this dude is not ok upstairs. Instead
of standing up he kept lying on the floor like a hungry crocodile. His
eyes were glued to something under the bed. I won't be surprised if he
starts analysing the temperature under the bed. Nxa nerds can be boring
sometimes. He slowly stood up and had something red in his hands. Shit
I'm busted, Sipho's 'shortpen' was in his hand and the look on his face
was so pregnant. It's like he was waiting for me to confess. Now the
funny scene turned into a horror movie for me. Dumi is not a violent guy
unlike most Zulu men I know. If he was a Zulu guy from kwaMashu I'd be
on my way Steve Biko Hospital or Two Mountains Funeral Services right
now. He threw the shortpen at me and it hit my nose. I know it happened
so fast but I swear I smelled urine on Sipho's shortpen. Maybe it's time
men started carrying wipes with them so they can wipe the piss remains
on cocks. As soon as he was done getting dressed, he left without saying
good bye. Lol this dude is such a drama queen. What happened to
talking? Why is he jumping to conclusions? As I was standing in the
middle of my room trying to brew what just transpired someone opened my
door. WTF!!!! I wasn't in a mood for another visitor. Before I could see
who it was, I saw 3 R100 notes flying all over my room. Shit, this guy
is angry at me but he didn't forget he came here to give me R300. He
just threw the money and left. He's such a sweetheart, a sweetheart with
a small dick. I'm not a gold digger but I appreciate a guy who gives me
money.
Now my mind went back to Sipho. I had to think of ways to punish him. How am I going to make him pay back? I thought about Googling 'Ways to hurt an Ex' then I remembered he's not my ex. A perfect idea dawned in my mind and believe you in me, I'm going ahead with this. You can judge me all you want, I don't give an Alexandra rat's ass. Sipho must pay for that sms. I'm going to his place to cause havoc. I took my phone and called JT. Oh by the way, JT is a lesbian friend of mine. Shim has been asking me out for days but I turned her down. I'm a believer of nature, positive and positive will never attract the same goes for negative and negative. I believe in punami + dick finish and klaar. Although I turned her off, she remained a very good friend of mine. She stays in Pretoria CBD at a flat called Nyasa by Andries Street...oh it's called Thabo Sehume these days. Nxa ANC and name changes. She picked up her phone ka 1st ring. This girl is such a boy. She was like "ola ntwana, o grand?". I told her I don't have airtime and I want her to drive me to Centurion if she doesn't mind. She went "you know for you I can drive to Giyani". Lol I was flattered, JT thou. I told her I'll wait for her at the robot Corner Joubert and Rissik and she said she'll be there in 10 minutes. I took Sipho's shortpen and put it in my bag and headed straight to the robot to wait for 'shim'. Within 7 minutes she picked me up and we headed to Centurion. What I like about her is she's not nosey. She didn't even ask what we were going to do in Centurion. Maybe she's Kermit's brother...ouch I meant sister. The security guards at Sipho's complex knew me well, I actually told him he looks cute few weeks earlier so I didn't have to sign in. I knocked at Sipho's townhouse and the Xhosa bitch opened and let me in. By the way, I asked JT to remain in the car. Sipho was watching news on eNCA when I got in. Hayi men and news thou. He reminded me of my dad. He watched news from 7pm to 10pm. He only gave us 30 minutes to watch Generations/Fire-rations. Sipho was so shocked to see me. I didn't waste time with greetings and shit. I took out the shortpen from my bag and threw it at Sipho and 'loudly' whispered "next time don't forget your privaties after good sex". The Xhosa yellow bone turned red immediately. She jumped on Sipho like Rey Mysterio of WWE. She hit him so hard I saw blood coming out of his big nose. That's what you get for messing with Shaz. I laughed so hard my thin ass released a warm fart. Sipho got a chance to escape and ran to his bedroom upstairs. Is this guy really from Limpopo? I expected him to show the bitch who the man was in the house. Now it was just me and the Xhosa bitch in the sitting room. She walked towards me with that 'I-wanna-beat-you-up-bitch' look. I felt so brave at that moment. She tried to hit me but I ducked and pushed her so hard that she fell hard on her stomach. I was expecting her to stand up so I could finish what I started. I'm a Limpopo girl, I grew up eating pap and morogo as breakfast, not bacon and eggs.
She was wearing a white mini skirt and when she fell I saw the yellowness in her on her thighs. WTF, she was crying...crying as in someone who is in deep pain. Nxa Xhosa bitches and attention seeking faking tendencies. I walked towards her to hit her on the head then something caught my eyes, a red stain on her mini skirt. The pregnant Xhosa bitch was bleeding between her legs.
WTF did I just do...did she misc....
Now my mind went back to Sipho. I had to think of ways to punish him. How am I going to make him pay back? I thought about Googling 'Ways to hurt an Ex' then I remembered he's not my ex. A perfect idea dawned in my mind and believe you in me, I'm going ahead with this. You can judge me all you want, I don't give an Alexandra rat's ass. Sipho must pay for that sms. I'm going to his place to cause havoc. I took my phone and called JT. Oh by the way, JT is a lesbian friend of mine. Shim has been asking me out for days but I turned her down. I'm a believer of nature, positive and positive will never attract the same goes for negative and negative. I believe in punami + dick finish and klaar. Although I turned her off, she remained a very good friend of mine. She stays in Pretoria CBD at a flat called Nyasa by Andries Street...oh it's called Thabo Sehume these days. Nxa ANC and name changes. She picked up her phone ka 1st ring. This girl is such a boy. She was like "ola ntwana, o grand?". I told her I don't have airtime and I want her to drive me to Centurion if she doesn't mind. She went "you know for you I can drive to Giyani". Lol I was flattered, JT thou. I told her I'll wait for her at the robot Corner Joubert and Rissik and she said she'll be there in 10 minutes. I took Sipho's shortpen and put it in my bag and headed straight to the robot to wait for 'shim'. Within 7 minutes she picked me up and we headed to Centurion. What I like about her is she's not nosey. She didn't even ask what we were going to do in Centurion. Maybe she's Kermit's brother...ouch I meant sister. The security guards at Sipho's complex knew me well, I actually told him he looks cute few weeks earlier so I didn't have to sign in. I knocked at Sipho's townhouse and the Xhosa bitch opened and let me in. By the way, I asked JT to remain in the car. Sipho was watching news on eNCA when I got in. Hayi men and news thou. He reminded me of my dad. He watched news from 7pm to 10pm. He only gave us 30 minutes to watch Generations/Fire-rations. Sipho was so shocked to see me. I didn't waste time with greetings and shit. I took out the shortpen from my bag and threw it at Sipho and 'loudly' whispered "next time don't forget your privaties after good sex". The Xhosa yellow bone turned red immediately. She jumped on Sipho like Rey Mysterio of WWE. She hit him so hard I saw blood coming out of his big nose. That's what you get for messing with Shaz. I laughed so hard my thin ass released a warm fart. Sipho got a chance to escape and ran to his bedroom upstairs. Is this guy really from Limpopo? I expected him to show the bitch who the man was in the house. Now it was just me and the Xhosa bitch in the sitting room. She walked towards me with that 'I-wanna-beat-you-up-bitch' look. I felt so brave at that moment. She tried to hit me but I ducked and pushed her so hard that she fell hard on her stomach. I was expecting her to stand up so I could finish what I started. I'm a Limpopo girl, I grew up eating pap and morogo as breakfast, not bacon and eggs.
She was wearing a white mini skirt and when she fell I saw the yellowness in her on her thighs. WTF, she was crying...crying as in someone who is in deep pain. Nxa Xhosa bitches and attention seeking faking tendencies. I walked towards her to hit her on the head then something caught my eyes, a red stain on her mini skirt. The pregnant Xhosa bitch was bleeding between her legs.
WTF did I just do...did she misc....
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