Diary of a Side Chick - Makhwapheni Episode 7
Most people seem to think only men have a right to crave for some
action. And many old-fashioned men think only men can initiate sex. Men
are so selfish, especially those who go to traditional African churches,
I won't mention names. I was dating some guy by the name of Matome from
Jane Furse in Limpopo last year...oh Matome. He had a huge dick for
days and he could shag me until my pussy blushed. He's one of those guys
who drank Ultra Mel and peanuts everyday. I used to sleep at his place
on Wednesdays cause it was his 'off-day'. One day he went to bed early
while I was watching Muvhango. So when I finally joined him I decided to
give him an ambush blow job in his sleep. Nigga jumped off the bed with
the first lick. He went "tjo tjo tjo tjo...Ye ke meleko straight. O dia
bjang? O nagana o mo Diplomat neh?". While saying that he took his
church uniform and hid it in the closet cause he believed the devil sent
me. He told me to take my stuff and voetsek cause he didn't have time
for magosha. He basically kicked me out for wanting to initiate sex.
Enough about dinosaurs (oh, I call my ex's dinosaurs). I looked at Kabelo and the more I looked at him was the more my wetness got wetter. His lips looked like they weren't capable of uttering insults and his nose was so cute. Part of me said "no Sharon, don't do it. He's Dumi's friend for heaven's sake" and the other part said "girl, you know what to do". True, I knew exactly what to do. I was already naked so I didn't waste any time. I went to my bed where Kabelo was sleeping. Nxa the fool was sleeping on his belly. What kinda man sleeps on his belly? His snoring sounded like Seakamela of Skeem Saam's car. I thought of giving up but no, I wanted some fun. While I was thinking on what to do next, he rolled himself over and now he was sleeping on his back. Perfect position, I thought to myself. Wait, what if this nigga is faking everything? What if he's pulling an act just to get some action? But he didn't look like that type. I slowly unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and put finger in inside. WTF, it took me some searching before my finger could feel something. For a minute I thought I was dreaming. I've seen small dicks before but to say this one was small would be an insult to the word small. I even took my phone to make light so to see it clearly. Shame bathong, it looked so small, cute and innocent....like a newly born rat (not Alexandra rat). I could give it a blow job my my ear lol. Now I believe what Mashabela said about Tswana guys. I took 3 pictures which I planned to send to my girls the following day...I had to zoom 3 times to get a proper pic. I know it's cruel but hey, we live in an era of smart phones, everything must be captured. I buttoned and zipped his pants and retired to Kea's bed with a 'disappointed' pussy. This guy should quit alcohol, I touched his Corsa Lite 1.4 and he didn't see or feel a thing. He woke me up around 7am to tell me he's leaving and to apologise for being drunk and inconveniencing me the previous night. I almost asked him to apologise for disappointing me too. I asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said yes with confidence. I almost cracked, what kinda girlfriend settles for that tiny thing? Maybe she's one of those Christians who plan to have sex after marriage. She'll have a surprise of her life ko honeymoon shame. I told him to send my warm regards to my boo.
As soon as he left I made Kea's bed and slept on my bed. I was still a bit sleepy so I went back to lala land. When I woke up around 14h00 Kea was sleeping on her bed. I'm glad she didn't bother me when she got in, I was gonna pinch her thin ass. I checked my phone and there was an sms from Sipho. It read: "Hope you are happy. My wife miscarried. It's all your fault. God will punish you one day". I was so furious and I wrote the very first thing that came to my mind, "Don't pretend as if you are not happy. You told me you are not sure the baby is yours. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise". I switched my phone off immediately after sending. Most people do this after sending an ugly text cause they don't wanna see your come back. I took my other phone and called my mom. Everyone has 2 phones these days, a smart phone and one of those R100 phones. Thanks to weak battery life of smart phones. My mom was so happy to hear my voice. She asked about school and all sort of things. Before I hung up she reminded me to remain the good girl she raised and stay away from boys. I said I will mommy. Parents must wake up and smell the coffee, as soon as girls from Limpopo pass Kranskop Tollgate they throw the good girl shit away. If you want your daughter to remain a good girl, send her to University of Venda or Vhembe FET College. After speaking with mom I called Dumi and he told me he's in KZN already. The call lasted for few minutes cause he was in hospital. Kea's phone rang and it woke her up. Kea looked so beautiful. She looked like a beautiful version of Noluntu Memela. I always wondered why a beautiful girl like her would be single. But anyway, it wasn't my business. She was married to her church. After the call she told me it was her pastor. He was taking her to Fountains Valley (a popular park in Pretoria) for a braai organised by another Pastor from Arcadia. Ja it pays to be a loyal church member neh, now she gets invitations from Pastors. She asked if I'll go with her and I said no, chilling pastors aint my scene. She begged me so humbly and I said cool, as long as we don't pray every 5 minutes. We both laughed. We took a bath and got ready for Pastor. By the way, I've never seen the pastor before. Within an hour he called and told Kea he's downstairs. I wondered how he knew where we stayed. Maybe he drops Kea now and then after the All Night Prayers. When we got downstairs there was a black Land Rover parked in front of our flat. Damn, I love big cars. When we got in the car he introduced himself as Pastor Adeyemi. Shit these Nigerians are all over, I thought to myself. They have churches almost every street in Pretoria. He asked Kea why she never told him she has a beautiful flatmate. I was flattered but I could see Kea wasn't happy about that compliment.
When we got to Fountains he didn't park his car where many people were, he parked under the trees to the far left-hand side of Fountains main gate. We walked for about 2 minutes to join the braai. There were about 10 people, 6 ladies and 4 guys. The guys spoke in Nigerian accent but all girls were South African. I was shit bored...a boozeless braai with Pastors aint my type of fun. Around 18h00 I saw a familiar face, Never-die. He waved for me and I walked to him. I told Kea he's a guy from home. He asked me what I'm doing with makwerekwere and I told him he should not call fellow Africans that. I hate that tendency with black South Africans, we call black foreigners makwerekwere but call white foreigners tourists. I see it as self-hate. He apologised and asked if I mind to join his crew. I told him I don't want Maite to kill me. He laughed and and said there's nothing going on between him and Maite. I was like "Duh, what were you doing with her ko House 22 at 2am?". He deliberately ignored my question and led me to where his group was sitting. There were 6 guys and 2 chicks, that made me the 3rd chick. I assumed the other 3 guys were still hunting. Guys do that all the type. They go to pubs/parks without their partners with the aim of finding a one-night-stand there. When you ask why they go 'you can't go fishing with a fish'. Never-Die offered me a can of Hunter Gold. I don't like it but it was better than chilling with pastors. Most girls who drink Hunters Gold have mkhabas. Never-die said I can drink as much as I want cause they bought 24. This fool was making it obvious he was trying to get me drunk so he can chow me. He doesn't know me, they don't call me phunyukabang'phethe for nothing. After 5 cans I asked Never-die if I can go take my phone which I left with Kea and he offered to accompany. When I said no he said I must give him my number, in case I got lost. Lol this guy was making it obvious he wanna ride me. I gave him my number and left. When I got to where Kea was, there was nobody. Shit, did they leave without me? I headed straight to where Pastor Adeyemi parked his car to check if they left. Maybe Kea and the pastor were waiting for me in the car. I saw the car but couldn't tell if there was someone inside because it had tinted windows and it was dark . You know with modern cars when you open the door the interior lights go on automatically.
I opened the door and a white g-string fell off the car. WTF.....
Enough about dinosaurs (oh, I call my ex's dinosaurs). I looked at Kabelo and the more I looked at him was the more my wetness got wetter. His lips looked like they weren't capable of uttering insults and his nose was so cute. Part of me said "no Sharon, don't do it. He's Dumi's friend for heaven's sake" and the other part said "girl, you know what to do". True, I knew exactly what to do. I was already naked so I didn't waste any time. I went to my bed where Kabelo was sleeping. Nxa the fool was sleeping on his belly. What kinda man sleeps on his belly? His snoring sounded like Seakamela of Skeem Saam's car. I thought of giving up but no, I wanted some fun. While I was thinking on what to do next, he rolled himself over and now he was sleeping on his back. Perfect position, I thought to myself. Wait, what if this nigga is faking everything? What if he's pulling an act just to get some action? But he didn't look like that type. I slowly unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and put finger in inside. WTF, it took me some searching before my finger could feel something. For a minute I thought I was dreaming. I've seen small dicks before but to say this one was small would be an insult to the word small. I even took my phone to make light so to see it clearly. Shame bathong, it looked so small, cute and innocent....like a newly born rat (not Alexandra rat). I could give it a blow job my my ear lol. Now I believe what Mashabela said about Tswana guys. I took 3 pictures which I planned to send to my girls the following day...I had to zoom 3 times to get a proper pic. I know it's cruel but hey, we live in an era of smart phones, everything must be captured. I buttoned and zipped his pants and retired to Kea's bed with a 'disappointed' pussy. This guy should quit alcohol, I touched his Corsa Lite 1.4 and he didn't see or feel a thing. He woke me up around 7am to tell me he's leaving and to apologise for being drunk and inconveniencing me the previous night. I almost asked him to apologise for disappointing me too. I asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said yes with confidence. I almost cracked, what kinda girlfriend settles for that tiny thing? Maybe she's one of those Christians who plan to have sex after marriage. She'll have a surprise of her life ko honeymoon shame. I told him to send my warm regards to my boo.
As soon as he left I made Kea's bed and slept on my bed. I was still a bit sleepy so I went back to lala land. When I woke up around 14h00 Kea was sleeping on her bed. I'm glad she didn't bother me when she got in, I was gonna pinch her thin ass. I checked my phone and there was an sms from Sipho. It read: "Hope you are happy. My wife miscarried. It's all your fault. God will punish you one day". I was so furious and I wrote the very first thing that came to my mind, "Don't pretend as if you are not happy. You told me you are not sure the baby is yours. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise". I switched my phone off immediately after sending. Most people do this after sending an ugly text cause they don't wanna see your come back. I took my other phone and called my mom. Everyone has 2 phones these days, a smart phone and one of those R100 phones. Thanks to weak battery life of smart phones. My mom was so happy to hear my voice. She asked about school and all sort of things. Before I hung up she reminded me to remain the good girl she raised and stay away from boys. I said I will mommy. Parents must wake up and smell the coffee, as soon as girls from Limpopo pass Kranskop Tollgate they throw the good girl shit away. If you want your daughter to remain a good girl, send her to University of Venda or Vhembe FET College. After speaking with mom I called Dumi and he told me he's in KZN already. The call lasted for few minutes cause he was in hospital. Kea's phone rang and it woke her up. Kea looked so beautiful. She looked like a beautiful version of Noluntu Memela. I always wondered why a beautiful girl like her would be single. But anyway, it wasn't my business. She was married to her church. After the call she told me it was her pastor. He was taking her to Fountains Valley (a popular park in Pretoria) for a braai organised by another Pastor from Arcadia. Ja it pays to be a loyal church member neh, now she gets invitations from Pastors. She asked if I'll go with her and I said no, chilling pastors aint my scene. She begged me so humbly and I said cool, as long as we don't pray every 5 minutes. We both laughed. We took a bath and got ready for Pastor. By the way, I've never seen the pastor before. Within an hour he called and told Kea he's downstairs. I wondered how he knew where we stayed. Maybe he drops Kea now and then after the All Night Prayers. When we got downstairs there was a black Land Rover parked in front of our flat. Damn, I love big cars. When we got in the car he introduced himself as Pastor Adeyemi. Shit these Nigerians are all over, I thought to myself. They have churches almost every street in Pretoria. He asked Kea why she never told him she has a beautiful flatmate. I was flattered but I could see Kea wasn't happy about that compliment.
When we got to Fountains he didn't park his car where many people were, he parked under the trees to the far left-hand side of Fountains main gate. We walked for about 2 minutes to join the braai. There were about 10 people, 6 ladies and 4 guys. The guys spoke in Nigerian accent but all girls were South African. I was shit bored...a boozeless braai with Pastors aint my type of fun. Around 18h00 I saw a familiar face, Never-die. He waved for me and I walked to him. I told Kea he's a guy from home. He asked me what I'm doing with makwerekwere and I told him he should not call fellow Africans that. I hate that tendency with black South Africans, we call black foreigners makwerekwere but call white foreigners tourists. I see it as self-hate. He apologised and asked if I mind to join his crew. I told him I don't want Maite to kill me. He laughed and and said there's nothing going on between him and Maite. I was like "Duh, what were you doing with her ko House 22 at 2am?". He deliberately ignored my question and led me to where his group was sitting. There were 6 guys and 2 chicks, that made me the 3rd chick. I assumed the other 3 guys were still hunting. Guys do that all the type. They go to pubs/parks without their partners with the aim of finding a one-night-stand there. When you ask why they go 'you can't go fishing with a fish'. Never-Die offered me a can of Hunter Gold. I don't like it but it was better than chilling with pastors. Most girls who drink Hunters Gold have mkhabas. Never-die said I can drink as much as I want cause they bought 24. This fool was making it obvious he was trying to get me drunk so he can chow me. He doesn't know me, they don't call me phunyukabang'phethe for nothing. After 5 cans I asked Never-die if I can go take my phone which I left with Kea and he offered to accompany. When I said no he said I must give him my number, in case I got lost. Lol this guy was making it obvious he wanna ride me. I gave him my number and left. When I got to where Kea was, there was nobody. Shit, did they leave without me? I headed straight to where Pastor Adeyemi parked his car to check if they left. Maybe Kea and the pastor were waiting for me in the car. I saw the car but couldn't tell if there was someone inside because it had tinted windows and it was dark . You know with modern cars when you open the door the interior lights go on automatically.
I opened the door and a white g-string fell off the car. WTF.....
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